What To Do When A Child Refuses To Visit Their Parent

Parenting time is a fundamental aspect of post-separation or divorce arrangements, designed to foster children’s emotional well-being and maintain their relationships with both parents. However, challenges can arise when a child or teenager refuses to see one parent during their designated visitation. This article will delve into the legal framework surrounding parenting time in Alberta and offer guidance on addressing such situations.

Understanding Parenting Time in Alberta

The family law legislation that governs divorce and parenting in Alberta, primarily the Divorce Act and the Family Law Act, outlines the principles governing parenting time arrangements. The overarching objective is to determine what is in the best interests of the child, considering a variety of factors:

• The child’s wishes and needs: While children’s preferences are not binding, they are given weight, especially as they mature;
• The child’s relationship with each parent: The quality and strength of the child’s bond with each parent are essential considerations.
• Each parent’s ability to provide for the child’s needs: This includes both material and emotional support.
• The child’s ability to adjust to a new home or school: The court may consider potential disruptions to the child’s routine.
• Any history of abuse or neglect: The safety and well-being of the child are paramount.

Parenting time arrangements can be established through a separation agreement, a court order, or a parenting coordinator. These arrangements typically specify the frequency, duration, and location of visits and any special conditions or restrictions.

Addressing a Child’s Refusal to Visit the Other Parent

When a child or teenager refuses to see one parent during their scheduled parenting time, it is crucial to approach the situation with sensitivity and understanding while ensuring the child’s rights and the terms of any parenting agreement or order are respected. Some strategies are set out below.

Open Communication and Collaboration Between Parents and Children

• Engage in open dialogue with your child. Have open and honest conversations with your child to understand their reasons for refusing to visit. Approach the discussion with empathy and respect, avoiding judgment or blame.
• Communicate with the other parent. If possible, discuss the situation calmly and constructively with the other parent. You can explore potential solutions together and work towards a mutually agreeable resolution.

Seek Professional Guidance

• Look into family therapy. A family therapist can provide a neutral space for open communication and help address underlying issues contributing to the child’s reluctance to visit.
• Obtain child counselling services. If your child is experiencing emotional distress or difficulties, individual counselling can help them process their feelings and develop coping strategies.

Consider Modifying the Parenting Time Arrangement

• Consider temporary adjustments to the parenting plan. If the child is experiencing a particularly difficult time, consider temporarily adjusting the parenting time schedule or the nature of the visits. Shorter visits or supervised visits may be helpful.
• Seek long-term modifications if needed. If the child’s refusal to visit persists, it may be necessary to seek a modification of the parenting time arrangement through the court. However, this should be done as a last resort and only after exploring other options.

Enforce the Parenting Agreement Through Dispute Resolution

• Attempt alternative dispute resolution (ADR) through mediation or arbitration. If the parents cannot agree on a solution, mediation or arbitration can be used to resolve the dispute.
• Apply to the court for its intervention if necessary. In cases where parents cannot resolve matters through alternative dispute resolution (or it would be inappropriate to go through an ADR process), the court may need to intervene to enforce the parenting agreement. This could involve fines, contempt of court proceedings, or even changes to decision-making and parenting time arrangements.

Legal Consequences of Non-Adherence With Parenting Time Arrangements

Failing to comply with a court-ordered or agreed-upon parenting time arrangement can have serious legal consequences. These may include:

• Fines: The court may impose costs penalties on the parent for not adhering to the parenting agreement.

• Contempt of court: If a parent repeatedly violates a court order, they may be found in contempt of court, resulting in significant financial and legal sanctions.

• Changes to decision-making (custody) arrangements: In severe cases, the court may modify the decision-making/custody arrangement, potentially transferring primary decision-making responsibility to the other parent.

It is important to note that the specific legal consequences will depend on the case’s circumstances and the violation’s severity.

Additional Considerations When Enforcing Parenting Time

Child’s Age and Maturity

As children grow older, their understanding and decision-making abilities increase. When addressing their refusal to visit, it is essential to consider the child’s age and maturity level.

Underlying Issues 

Underlying issues, such as emotional difficulties, trauma, or conflicts between the parents, may be contributing to the child’s resistance. Addressing these underlying issues can be crucial in resolving the situation.

Cultural and Religious Factors

Cultural or religious beliefs may influence a child’s relationship with their parents or willingness to participate in certain activities. It is important to be mindful of these factors and respect the child’s cultural or religious background.

Self-Care

Dealing with a child’s refusal to visit can be emotionally draining. It is essential to take care of your own mental and emotional well-being. Consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist.

Contact Mincher Koeman in Calgary for Compassionate Advice on Parenting Issues

When a child or teenager refuses to see one parent during their scheduled parenting time, it can be challenging and emotionally taxing. The knowledgeable family and divorce lawyers at Mincher Koeman understand the difficulties of these situations and work closely with clients to create personalized legal solutions to complicated parenting matters. We help determine the most efficient and cost-effective way of resolving conflict. We are skilled negotiators and litigators with substantial experience in alternative dispute resolution.
Mincher Koeman is a prominent family law firm based in Calgary and Canmore, known for its proficient advocacy in family and divorce matters. To schedule a confidential consultation with a member of our responsive team, please contact us online or call 403-910-3000.